Sensation

I sit here writing, sipping a scalding hot cup of tea, creating a world with my words when I am distracted by sensation.  Sensation in my head.  I pause, is it pain?  I look to the clock to see if I am due more pain medications but am unsure as to what it is exactly I am feeling.  Wait, there it is again.  It’s along my surgical site, running along the scar, I reach with tentative fingers to check how things are.  I feel hair shaven growing back in patches, the lumpy ugliness of scar tissue and the painful raised spots that identify the tiny titanium screws holding my skull flap in place.  All is as it should be but what is that feeling?  As I begin to think it has passed, it comes again this time I track it, beginning higher on my head in the area of scalp that has remained numb ever since surgery and feels particularly odd whenever it is touched, like a metal cap has been glued into place there.  The sensation strikes downward towards the scar and races along its line.

Feeling…I must be getting some feeling back to those areas left numb from cut nerves.  As unpleasant as this electric pulse feels, it signals what I hope it another stage in recovery.  The nerves may be firing at random as they begin to function again.  It is only five weeks since the surgery, so much earlier than I would expect the numbness in my head to resolve.

I return to my prior activity and monitor this new development to make sure that should it morph to pain, I will take the meds as prescribed, but for now, just for now, I will appreciate this weird sensation as healing.

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