As I attempt to write up my Advance Personal Plan (Power of Attorney & Living Will) in between loads of washing, I feel as though I am living a double life – the first is ordinary, filled with mundane chores like cooking, washing, groceries and appointments; in the other I am pondering life, death and disability, worrying about how much pain I am going to go through, talking with family about my preferences should I be incapacitated, preparing documents to ensure my wishes are known if the worst were to happen.

As I hang the washing on the line, I try to do so with all my attention but am aware that in the background, my mind is churning.  As I plod  through these mundane but necessary jobs, I feel at times, detached from reality, living in duality; one life completely normal, the other a nightmare.   I need to embrace them both as to live in only one, will leave me unprepared for the other.